Getting Your Body Back Postpartum: An Inside Look at Body Image Therapy

If you're a new mom struggling with how you feel about your body postpartum, you're not alone. The journey of "getting your body back" after having a baby is complex, layered with both physical changes and deep psychological patterns that often go back much further than pregnancy itself.

The Reality of Postpartum Body Image

"I think it's just general body image stuff that I've always struggled with," shares Sarah*, a mother working through her postpartum experience in therapy. "I mean, I am actively trying to be really compassionate because I've been through a lot physically, but you know, I'm at a place right now where I just don't feel great and I want to work to a place where I feel a lot better about it."

This sentiment resonates with so many women. You know intellectually that your body has done something incredible - grown and birthed a human being. Yet the day-to-day reality can feel overwhelming.

When Self-Criticism Takes Over

Sarah describes her daily struggle: "I just feel like I don't feel really comfortable in clothes, confident physically. When I see, like, we just did a family photo shoot and I saw the photos and I was like, 'I look disgusting,' was the first thing I saw."

Sound familiar? That harsh inner voice that immediately jumps to criticism isn't just "being realistic" - it's actually a protective part of your psyche trying to help, even though it doesn't feel helpful at all.

Understanding Your Inner Critic as a Protector

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we understand that harsh self-criticism often comes from a part of us that thinks it's motivating us toward change. As Sarah's therapist explains: "That part of disgust... it's a protector. It's showing up, it wants to protect you from something. Often it thinks it's motivating. So this part is showing up and thinking, 'well, if I can just show you how disgusting this is, you'll do something about it.'"

This protective part doesn't just show up around body image - it might also appear when you're feeling tired and think you "should" be more productive, or in other areas where you feel you're not measuring up.

The Child Within the Critic

What's particularly powerful about IFS work is discovering the age at which these protective parts were created. When the therapist asked how old this critical part thinks she is, “The number eight just popped into my mind." Isn’t that when your parents divorced?… Suddenly, the harsh criticism makes more sense. This is a part created at eight years old that’s trying to manage a painful and confusing time.

"This part has been doing a really big job for a really long time. And it's time for this part to kind of lay its burden down a little bit, because now you are older and have more skills and could handle things in a more holistic way, If this part could stand down a little.

The Resistance to Change

Change isn't always easy, even positive change. When Sarah struggles to connect emotionally with this new understanding, another part emerges: "This issue is so fucking deep with me... if I'm being really honest, that's the thought - like, I'm not going to cure this in five minutes."

Her therapist recognizes this too as a part: "That's great. That's the part arguing. 'I'm important. You need me. I've been here for a long time. You can't just get rid of me.'"

And that part is right - these patterns have been protective for years. The goal isn't to get rid of them but to help them evolve.

A Promotion, Not a Pink Slip

"What we really want for this part is kind of to give it a promotion. It's been doing too big a job." Instead of harsh self-criticism, this part could become a sophisticated detector of cultural body shaming, helping you respond effectively rather than turning the criticism inward.

"Right now, it's super reactive. But the amount of sophistication that goes into that instant reactivity is pretty vast. And you could really use that information. It would really be helpful to have available cognitively. You'd be able to come up with comebacks really quickly and speak really eloquently around it."

The Deeper Work

Body image work often reveals deeper wounds - what IFS calls "exiles" - parts of us that experienced pain when we were too young to handle it. "When that exile was created, you were too young to be able to manage that pain. You didn't have enough resources necessary to integrate that experience. And so your psyche just literally sectioned it off."

The beautiful news is that as an adult, "that feeling will still be terrible, but it won't be so overwhelming that you can't handle it."

Healing Takes Time

"IFS goes over many, many sessions. We work on different parts for long periods of time. And we can think that we've got them and then a year later they come back because some other aspect of it got triggered that wasn't really completely dealt with."

This isn't discouraging - it's realistic and compassionate. Healing happens in layers, and each layer of work brings more freedom and self-understanding.

Your Body, Your Journey

If you're struggling with body image postpartum, remember that this work is possible. You don't have to stay stuck in harsh self-criticism. With the right support, you can learn to work with your protective parts rather than against them, and ultimately develop a more compassionate relationship with your body and yourself.

The journey of getting your body back postpartum isn’t just about physical changes - it's about reclaiming a sense of peace and confidence that may have been disrupted long before pregnancy. And that work, while deep, can be profoundly healing.

If you're ready to explore your own relationship with body image and self-criticism, our online therapy services in California can help. Contact us to learn more about how IFS therapy and other approaches can support your postpartum journey

*Sarah is a composite character based on common therapeutic themes.